To effectively manage your anger, you must first learn to recognize when you are angry. It is a common misconception that you are either extremely mad or very happy. But emotion ranges on a spectrum and it is important to note where on your spectrum your emotions lie. It is hard when you don’t realize what part of your emotional spectrum you are on, to properly deal with your anger. But thankfully there are some signs that can clue you in on when you are becoming angry.
Physical signs of anger:
- Clenching your jaw or grinding your teeth
- Stomach ache
- Increased heart rate
- Sweating especially your palms
- Your face and neck become hot and red
- Shaking/ trembling
Emotional signs of anger:
- You want to get away from the situation
- Sadness or Depression
- You feel like lashing out verbally or physically
Behavioral signs of anger:
- Rubbing your head
- Cupping your fist with your other hand
- Getting sarcastic
- Losing your sense of humor
- Acting in an abusive or abrasive manner
- Craving a drink, a smoke or other substance
- Raising your voice
- Beginning to yell, scream, or cry
Once you have identified that you are angry, here are some tips of how to manage it and calm yourself down.
- Make a statement: I’m angry because ___________________.
- Take a step back from the situation and slow down your breathing and heart rate.
- Visualize a place that is peaceful and makes you happy.
- Then visualize yourself in a room with the person you are angry with. Say what’s on your mind.
- Physically talk with the other person. When taking to them, maintain eye contact and a calm voice.
- Put yourself into the other person’s shoes. Allow yourself to be “wrong” some of the time.
- Avoid blaming, attacking, or bringing up other problems.
- Use “I” statements and not “you” statements.
- Think of ways the situation can be changed or avoided in the future.
- Find a physical outlet for your anger such as exercise or house work.
- Set a time limit for your anger, once you have reached your time limit let it go.
- Use positive self-talk.
If these strategies aren’t working, reach out for help. One of our trained professionals will give you the help you need to manage your anger.